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sjanna_ps77
Posts:1
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Posted:09/25/2006 10:51 PM |
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I have a friend who experienced the loss of a very important relationship about six months ago and during that time he has grown close to God and church. For the past six months he felt God was showing him that the relationship was going to be restored, he prayed relentlessly and maintained faith in what he believed God was showing him. However, very recently he started to doubt that what he saw were signs from God and decided that he had convinced and decieved himself into seeing what he wanted to see. So, he has since given up on the hope of restoration and has become very angry and bitter towards the person he was in the relationship with. He has also said that he is uncertain at this point if he will continue to participate in church at the same degree he was before. He has acknowledged that he knows this anger is not Godly and is evil, but it is helping him to get through the realization of the loss of his relationship. I know he is struggling with his faith right now, because he truely felt God was showing him something and he held onto it for six months, only for it not to come to pass. He feels decieved and unsure of knowing when/if God is speaking to him. My friend has stumbled along the path before just as I have, but I feel God has helped me to speak the right words to him in the past and bring him back into the light. However, I am a new believer myself, in fact, this friend introduced me to BRCC and into Gods way not long ago, which makes this even more troubling to me because I probably never would have stepped foot into a church or started learning God's word if I had not been witness to the changes it was making in his life. It almost makes me doubt myself because if he doubts and he is the one who brought me here then how can I know what is right? But, deep down I do know what's right or else I wouldn't be up at 10:45pm determined to send this message and seek your help as soon as possible. Maybe I don't have enough faith in my friend that he will pull through this or that God will pull him through it, but what I am asking is that you can tell me if it is my place to intercede and tell him that he should not be so easily wavered in his beliefs. If it is my place to help him, can you please give me some encouraging scripture or words to guide me? Because I am not as mature a believer as others, I sometimes have a hard time knowing what the right words are to speak to him and I really want to get this right and get through to him.
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gfike
Posts:242
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Posted:09/26/2006 9:03 AM |
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Although I think it shows compassion on your part to want to help your friend, I suggest you steer him toward any male friends he has for counsel and encouragement. In his vulnerable position, it would be very easy for him to establish an unhealthy soul tie with a female friend. Too many times I have seen a woman befriend a man going through a relationship break-up only to short-circuit the healing he needed to receive from God by becoming a "surrogate soulmate" to him. Rather than experience the growth he needs, he stays stuck in a broken state because he is soothed rather than treated. And you run the risk of co-dependency.
It's OK to be concerned, and the right thing to do is to intercede for him in prayer. God can give you the right words, but in your situation you should limit your comforting of him. It is much more appropriate for a same-gender friend to advise him while he is so vulnerable.
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