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sstaudt
Posts:1
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Posted:07/10/2006 11:11 PM |
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My fiance and I are struggling with what to do in a particular situation. He lives with 2 other male roommates who we are almost positive have no relationship with the Lord. One of them specifically is the topic of my question. This roommate has been seeing a woman for the past 2 months or so to our knowledge, that is married. When we first met her at a movie, she arrived with this roommate, but the relationship seemed to be purely "friends-only" status. She even congratulated my fiance and I on are recent engagement and starting sharing information about her own wedding and so forth. However, since around this night, she and the roommate have started to see each other every day, and the relationship has grown to definite more than friends status. When we first met her, her husband was out of town on a backpacking trip in europe for a few weeks. Ever since then, my fiance's roommate has been switching back and forth from staying over at what we are assuming her and her husband's house, and my fiance's house. This is really a sensitive issue, and I think I am probably the one who is taking this situation the hardest since I am in the midst of planning my own wedding and future with my fiance. I almost break out in tears every time I see them together when I come over to visit my fiance at his house. They seem to be hiding nothing, something I think might be bothering me even more than if they were trying to be secretive about it. She even paid the roommate's 1/3 rent for this month. However, she still continues to wear her wedding rings and from what I overheard was that she told her husband she was staying over at a friends house......
I was just wondering what we should do. My fiance doesnt want to feel like he is trying to control his roommate's life, and I barely know either of them very well. All of my fiance's friends and his other roommate agree that what they are doing is wrong, but no one is talking to them about it at all. It's just kind of getting ignored by everyone. She is VERY anti-religion/anti-believer/anti-God, even saying horrible, cursing things when we recently all went to a movie and saw a preview for a nativity movie coming out in December. I couldnt believe the things she said! I just sat there, mouth open, staring at her, and then got very upset and began to cry with just overwhelming emotions with the whole scenario.
Any advice anyone could give would be greatly appreciated! I need something to be done because this situation is VERY upseting to me and I don't know who/what/when should do or say something.
Sorry for such a long post.....
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gfike
Posts:237
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Posted:07/11/2006 9:17 AM |
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One of our values at BRCC is "We speak the truth." That means we are prepared to lovingly confront other believers and are open ourselves to hear words of correction. If your fiance's roommate were a believer, it would be your responsibility to confront him in a spirit of reconciliation. And there is a responsibility to share the message of forgiveness in Christ with him and help him find salvation, as best you can. Out of love for this roommate, I encourage you to warn him of the natural consequences of his actions. You need not preach; the fruits of that kind of relationship are fairly easy to predict. I would begin by assuring him of your concern for him and his ultimate happiness. Hopefully your care and concern will give you an opportunity to share your faith and the joy you have found in following Christ. 2 scriptures writtn in the New Testament by Peter come to mind,describing your situation:
1st Peter 4 says, "...since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude,"... "(do) not live the rest of your earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. THEY THINK IT STRANGE THAT YOU DO NOT PLUNGE WITH THEM INTO THE SAME FLOOD OF DISSIPATION, AND THEY HEAP ABUSE UPON YOU. But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead."
2nd Peter 2:6-9 says, "God punished the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah by burning them to ashes, and this is a warning to anyone else who wants to sin. Lot lived right and was greatly troubled by the terrible way those wicked people were living. He was a good man, and day after day he suffered because of the evil things he saw and heard. So the Lord rescued him. This shows that the Lord knows how to rescue godly people from their sufferings and to punish evil people while they wait for the day of judgment."
I encourage you to pray for these individuals first, and remember the depth of their need as you prepare to talk with them. It is not for us to judge (that is God's business); it is for us to show mercy and to demonstrate there is a better way to live life.
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