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brunette37
Posts:3
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Posted:04/30/2007 4:58 PM |
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I was recently baptized within the church. I have been waiting for almost two years before I finally decided to make that final step. I had been baptized as an infant in a Catholic Church. This meant so much more to me because it was "my choice" as an adult, plus it was in "my church" of choice. The church that has brought structure, guidance, forgiveness, and hope into my life once again. I had made some really poor choices in my past w/drugs, alcohol, and being very "open" with my sexual side. I have stopped doing all those things years ago. I had a desire to watch porn movies from time to time. They were always ALL female types because I became curious with those thoughts throughout my early 20's. I don't know why? I also ventured into that world of lesbians and clubs which were ONLY women. So, since my baptism I have no longer purchased or watched those movies, but I still have a temptation in wanting to be with women. i don't understand it at all. I have been hurt by men within my life. Especially by my ex-husband of 5 years. I want to know how to stop these urges? Am I going to hell? I want to make good choices and be a good daughter of Christ. My acceptance from him means alot to me. So, how can I learn to focus more on my christian way of life? and not one to where Satan rules with his evil and forms of inviting SIN into my life. I want a good life. I also want to live in Christ eyes. Also, does Christ really look down on sex with someone you are NOT married to, but have a loving relationship towards? Please anyone answer and try to help me sort these issues within myself.
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gfike
Posts:230
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Posted:05/01/2007 10:20 PM |
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There are a lot of people who struggle with same-sex attraction as you do. I think you have rightly uncovered one factor in your struggle - an aversion to the perceived selfish and sometimes cruel nature of men in your life. Same-sex attraction seems to feed on a deprivation of strong, loving male influence in one's life, particularly the father.
One thing that is important for you to understand is that you are responding in an inadequate manner to a legitimate need you have. Jesus has promised to be "husband" to the widow and "father" to the orphan, so his desire is to meet your need for a man who will love you unconditionally.
I have a booklet that would probably help you come to terms with your desire to walk with God and this competing desire to meet your needs for intimacy illegitimately. I will keep a copy at the Connection for you, or just call me at 523-9085 x250 or email me at gfike@brcc.net.
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