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marmarpd
Posts:1
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Posted:03/28/2007 11:27 PM |
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This past weekend, pastor discussed guilt and the need to release any guilt associated with what we have done or what other have done to us. He told a story of a girl who was sexually assaulted and yeaers later finally released all guilt associated with that horrible experience. Well, he might as well have been speaking to me one-on-one. I have never cried so much during a service. I was sexually assaulted by my aunt's husband and was asked by her and another aunt (we'll call aunt #2) to not say anything, so that they may work on their marriage. I immediately became the scapegoat for his actions. I have been caring around this anger and hate for over ten years. After service on Sunday, I went and spoke to aunt #2 and told her how I had been feeling all these years and that I forgave her for not supporting or protecting me. I feel a thousand times better, BUT I still have more to do. This is where I need some prayer and guidance. I do not know how to approach aunt #1, the wife, and I don't know how to trust a man. I'm 37 and would love to some day get married. I just can't fathom allowing a man to get close enough to me to have an intimate relationship. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. 
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| Pastor Brent (guest) |
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Posted:04/05/2007 3:30 PM |
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I'm replying to the woman who was sexually assaulted by her aunt's husband. I'm the pastor who spoke that weekend. I'm so glad you have forgiven aunt #2.
In approaching aunt #1, I encourage you not to do so alone. Perhaps aunt #2 will join you or another relative or friend who can support you, but will not be antagonistic toward aunt #1. When you speak to her, be honest and specific about the deep pain and harm those sins caused you--not only the rape, but the cover-up. Forgive her completely and forgive the man who raped you unconditionally. This is the path to healing.
Regarding your desires to get married, the Psalmist says: "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4). The Lord will give you this desire. It is a good desire. Yet your distrust of men, that is totally understandable, must be overcome for you to fulfill your desire. I urge you to join our "Celebrate Recovery" ministry on Tuesday nights here at BRCC. We begin with a large group meeting to give people wisdom to deal with their past hurts and then we break out into various small groups to help people process their life experiences so they can find healing. We will walk with you! You are not alone.
If you want to talk in person, you can ask for me (Brent) or Pastor Miriam, who leads our recovery ministries. Blessings to you.
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