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Terabith
Posts:1
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Posted:11/02/2006 1:46 AM |
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Tonight's sermon was very powerful - showed up Martin Luther's assertion that James is a "book of straw!" But it got me to thinking about some things that have bothered me for a long time and made me very angry with God. What precisely does it mean to be saved by faith? I "believe" all the correct things (I hope)...in the existence of God, that Jesus is His Son, resurrection, Holy Spirit, etc - all the basics from the Nicene Creed. But, so what? As James says, even the demons believe those things. Intellectual assent doesn't bestow any real salvation. So obviously faith as intellectual assent is not what is required for salvation. What is? And how does one will oneself to have it? I've always wanted to be saved/ hoped to be saved, to have faith, to have a relationship with God even if the whole heaven/ hell thing wasn't a factor, because I believe it is the right thing to do and because I have seen how it transforms the lives of people who have it. But it's not exactly a commodity I can acquire myself. It seems that faith itself is a gift from God - an act of grace, as it were. Heck, seems like even the DESIRE for faith is a gift from God. It makes me wonder about the doctrine of salvation through faith. If we are saved through faith, and faith itself is a gift from God or act of grace, is it just a matter of predestination? Does God just not desire some people to be saved? (This has always been my fear, that I'm just not cut out for salvation, because I can't seem to muster that nebulous faith, or a real relationship with God. I even had a vision at the age of seven of God scratching my name out of the book of life. Eek!) I worry sometimes that God is kinda capricious, and it scares me to have thoughts like that.
Of course, the whole Abraham/ Isaac story thing bothers me too, a lot, both as a child and now as a mother. I know God was testing Abraham, but man, poor Isaac! (Ever notice how he's the only patriarch not to be a major character? He's pretty much just a token...I wonder how much of that has to do with the whole trauma of almost being a sacrifice, no matter how old he was at the time.) And poor Abraham! And for that matter, why is it that Jesus had to die for salvation to occur? I know about God being holy, but it just seems like God being God could have made a way that didn't require death, or blood, or...well, I just can't wrap my head around it. (Which is probably my whole lack of faith thing talking.) I know Jesus is God, but at the same time NOT God (or at least, not having all the attributes of God), but why would God require death to make a way for life? I just at some fundamental heart level don't GET it, and I want to; I want to have faith/ to believe/ to pass that judgement with a big J, but I can't figure it out or get away from it. It makes me sometimes almost (and I hesitate to say this) hate God - I know I'm nothing and my judgements are not right and what God says is right by definition, but some of these things just dont seem GOOD (requiring Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, God being so angry that He has to be atoned by blood sacrifice, capricious determination of salvation by who has the personality or will that leads itself to faith, etc), and I feel hurt because I feel almost rejected by God too. How does one come to terms with this? What IS faith? How does one get it or create it? Obviously just saying, "Lord, i believe, help Thou my unbelief" ain't cutting it.
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gfike
Posts:242
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Posted:11/13/2006 10:47 AM |
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I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner. After being out of town for the marriage retreat, a few other posts sent this down a few too many levels.
But this is a very important line of questioning. I appreciate your "i do believe; Lord, help my unbelief" approach. As Sammy Tippit taught me in a message more than 20 years ago, there is a verse in Romans 8 that teached us that believers may "doubt your beiefs, but you just can't quite believe your doubts." The verse he was referring to was Romans 8:15, 16: "For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, 'Abba, Father.' The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children." I think the image of "God's children" is very key. Am I a child of my earthly father based on my belief? Because I gotta tell you: as the only straight-haired child in a family with 5 curly-headed siblings, I had my doubts at times. But I knew I was his son because he would do anything for me. I was his son because he gave me life, whether I felt like it or not.
In that same way, we become God's children by relying on His love for us. Romans 8:32 says:"He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?" 1 John 4:15-17 says, "If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him."
No amount of believing we could do could make Jesus go to the cross; it was his choice to pay the price for us; belief in him is as simple as relying on the payment God made for us Himself. This reliance is accompanied by a desire to please him and to be like him. True faith is not what we do for God; it's what we allow Him to do in us.
The last thing I want to do is load you down with cliches. We might never (in this life) understand why sin is paid for with blood. There are ways to wrap our mind around it, but it is not an easy question to answer. I can tell you that it has to do with our flawed thinking that reality is measured by the perspective of our finite and flawed universe. The truth is reality is defined by the perspective of eternal values as opposed to temporal values. But I'm afraid this requires more explanation than I can give succinctly. I will try to give you some recommended reading in another post. Call if you'd like to dialogue more.
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